Day One

I have decided something, I am FAT. I know I am. I always joke about being a "woman of size", but I've never really acknowledged what that means for me. Lately I've been noticing little things going wrong with my body: my knees hurt, my hips hurt, my stomach is this huge flap of skin that folds over. I feel large. I feel bulky and awkward. My clothes don't fit.

None of that motivated me to get my act together.

Over the holidays, my gynocologist called me to tell me that I have polyps in my uterus and that I need to get them checked out. I have had thyroid cancer for 8 years, so any lump or bump concerns me. I didn't quite know what polyps are, so I Googled it. What I discovered was that they are more common in OBESE women; most lumps and tumours are.

Oh my goodness, I'm obese. I don't want to be. I want to make my body the healthiest that it can be.

I also don't want to go on another diet. I have been on so many diets; I can't even count them anymore. I want to do this properly. I want to slowly change the way I live.

I gave up gluten about 2 months ago and that is going really well. I will stick with this. It makes me feel like I have a bit more energy.

For the last few days, I've been focusing on doing things everyday to make me feel loved. This could be anything from taking time in the morning to do my hair or it could be making sure that only natural foods go in my body. Today I made sure that I walked on the treadmill for thirty minutes. Maybe I'll go drink a glass of water to say I love you too.

So we'll see what happens over the next few months. I want to see a whole new person by my 38th birthday. This is my year. I will not let myself be unhealthy; not when I can do something about it.

                                                            I am Bethie, watch me melt!